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  • Writer's pictureSusan Howard

Self Harm V. Self Love

Updated: Jul 25, 2021

The battle begins. Who will reign triumphant, love or hate? I have worked with a few clients who in their sordid past were self harmers—some with food, drugs or razor blades. No matter the vice, they are all the same really. Circumventing life frustrations, taking the stress out in a way that cripples them. Instead of dealing with issues straight on, they hide their feelings and act out.


Why is it so hard to avoid self loathing? I can take the thinnest most in shape person and they struggle as much as the over weight one. Maybe that is a reason for the popularity of Instagram in that people are desperately trying to convince other people they are beautiful as they struggle with their own inner pain.

Who cares what you look like, it’s what’s on the inside that counts, as the old saying goes. People do care what you look like, and you care what you look like as well you should. Maybe though you don’t need to pick yourself apart.


How can we get to loving ourselves? Seems virtually impossible as we all tend to cling to a negative bias.

First off if you have serious issues, get professional help. There is a reason people spend their lives work helping others. Don’t let your past pain envelop your present or future. Try and link your feelings with the true reality of where they lay. I am pissed at my co worker, face them and workout your feelings head on. If this is impossible, hit the gym and give yourself and extra hard workout.


Practice gratitude everyday. List five things you are grateful for each day and make one of them your body or a part of your body you actually do love.

You are not getting revenge on anyone when you hurt yourself. Nobody loses when you self harm, but you. You are not proving anything to anyone, you are simple destroying your own self. Get healthy from the inside out and you will emanate true beauty. Instagram fabulous.


Stay Ready.

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